Insurance Humour – Edition #1

By Krista DeKuyper | January 29, 2018 | Humour

Welcome to this first edition of our new blog series, Insurance Humour.

We have scoured the Internet for the funniest insurance humour, jokes and odd-ball stories that we could find. Here is what we found.

So put up your feet, take a load off and let’s have a bit of fun!

An engineer and lawyer meet each other while fishing in the Caribbean.

As he retrieves a cast the lawyer turns to the engineer and says, “I’m here because my house burned down along with everything in it. The insurance company ended up paid for everything.”

“Wow, what a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my stuff was destroyed in a flood. Like yourself, the insurance company paid for everything.”

The lawyer looked puzzled for a second, then cocked his head and asked “How do you start a flood?”

A life insurance agent presented a proposal to a would-be client who wasn’t entirely sold on the idea of life insurance coverage.

After spending a considerable amount of time answering the would-be client’s questions, the clever agent ended the conversation by saying: “Don’t let me frighten you into buying life insurance coverage. Sleep on it, and if you wake up in the morning, give me a call and we can discuss it further”!

A man walks into an insurance office and asks about a job. Upon hearing that there were no openings he replies “I can sell anything, you can’t afford not to hire me”.

Intrigued buy his confidence, the hiring manager says “We have two prospects that we have not been able to sell. Go see them and get back to us.”

After several hours the sales agent comes back to the office with two large cheques, both of which were for policies over $40,000.

“Did you get urine samples” said the hiring manager. “No” replied the agent. “We require urine samples from anyone who has a life insurance policy worth $40K or more,” explained the manager.

“No problem” replied the agent, who then leaves the office.

After another few hours the sales agent comes back, this time with a large bucket in each hand. “Here you go”, he said, producing two small vials of urine from his shirt pocket.

“That’s great” said the manager. “But what are the two buckets for”?

The agent replies “Well, I was passing by a teacher’s convention, so I went in and sold them a large group policy”!

An insurance agent was reviewing a life insurance application with a cowboy.

“It says here you’ve never had an accident?” questioned the agent.

“Never” said the cowboy.

“Not even one accident”? replied the agent.

“I was bitten by a rattlesnake once” said the cowboy.

“You don’t consider that an accident?”, replied the incredulous agent.

“Not at all” said the cowboy. “That rattler bit me on purpose”!

A woman is in the hospital when she gets some terrible news from the doctor.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have three months left to live”, said the doctor to the woman.

“Is there anything I can do, doctor?”, said the distraught woman.

“Marry an insurance agent”, replied the doctor.

“How will that help me to live longer?” she asked.

“It won’t”, replied the doctor. “But it will make the time you have left seem much longer”!

A life insurance agent takes a friend to the race track for an afternoon of fun. The agent’s friend has a good time but doesn’t win any money with his bets at all.

When the agent gets home her husband says to her “How was your day? Did you make any money”?

“No”, she replied. “But my friend found out that gambling with numbers doesn’t pay off”.

An insurance agent was teaching his son to drive when the brakes failed while going down a steep hill.

“I can’t stop, what should I do!” yelled out his son.

“Brace yourself” said the agent, “and hit something cheap”!


We hope this article about insurance humour brought a smile to your face.

Life is short, let’s enjoy it while we can.

If you have any questions about health insurance or travel insurance please contact us, as experienced Canadian insurance brokers it is our job to help!